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Monday, October 19, 2009

My Little Angel

I have a little angel,
shes way up in the sky,
I asked her to watch over you,
and she replied ok but why?
I told her I really loved you,
you mean so much to me,
she said she'll take care of you,
to show how your life should be,
so when you feel the warmth at night,
she's letting you know she's near,
she's right beside you
wherever you go,
she'll wipe away all your tears.

On October 10, 1999 Our Family Received and Lost a Baby Girl.
Her name was Marilyn Victoria Dorius.
She was born at Gunninson Valley Hospital in Gunnison Utah.
I remember that day like it was yesterday, even thought it has been 11 years. My Story Starts on a Saturday Morning October the 9Th 1999, My mother was in Labor. I was 18 years of age. I got my mother to the hospital and stayed with her for the remainder of the day, My mother and Baby Sister were put on heart monitors, that whole day I stayed by her side, by late afternoon, my baby sister's heart monitor starting showing some problems, the numbers where moving up and down. I knew something was wrong, so I went and talked to the nurse at the station and asked her to check on my baby sister and make sure that she was alright, the nurse told me that she was and that there was nothing to worry about. by 9 pm the doctor decided to send my mother home. upon arriving my other siblings were happy to see our mother, I informed Julia,( my sister who was 16), to wake me up if anything went wrong and that i was going to bed since i was tired from being at the hospital all day. Around 5 am Sunday Morning my mother woke me up saying that she was in labor , I jump out of bed and started running around the house (I felt like a chicken with out it's head) My mother had to calm me down just so I could figure out where I had put the keys and to get her bag. A couple of minutes later and I finally got her to the hospital Safely. As I pulled up to the emergency door My Mother informed me that I was not going into the hospital with her and that she would be alright, she said that I needed to go home because my littlest brother James who was two years old was sick and so was my sister Julia, and that I needed to take my two other little brothers to Church (Adam and Donny, We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints) so I watched her walk in the hospital and then I drove towards home. Later that morning as I sat in Sacrament I got the feeling that I was needed at the hospital, the feeling would not go away. So, afterwards I asked one of the lady's in My ward if she would watch my brothers and that I would be back as soon as I could. I drove to the hospital, has I walked down the hall of the hospital I got sad looks from the nurse's. my step Father set out of my mother's room and looked up at me saying I was just coming to get you. I went in. (This is what I saw) my mother holding a baby girl. I was so excited I could hardly hold in my joy at least until my mother asked me to take a sit. She told me that she was sorry to tell me such sad news, she explained how much she knew I wanted a baby sister to dress and take care of, however she continued that the lord decided that she needed to be in heaven and that one day I would be able to hold her and love her. I was in shock, I could not stop from crying, how unfair I thought. My Mother then asked me if I wanted to hold her, all I could do was shake my head no, however a sec later she was in my arms and I was putting my pinkie in her little hard. I remember her looking so perfect, A little Sleeping Beauty. If only a kiss would wake her up. I knew better. she was in a better place. Plus, Three months Later, we did not know our Mother would be joining her.
I am sending my love up to her and I can't wait till the day when I get to see her again.

3 comments:

My Little Corner of Savings said...

I have lost many close loved ones and I too can't until the day we reunite!!

MamaOtwins+1 said...

Wow- such a strong post. I am so sorry for your loss.

Jane said...

I remember this picture of Jesus and the baby! I always looked at it when I was pregnant! And now that we're trying again for our second, I hope my prayers will be answered. Thanks for sharing this!

Sorry for you loss!

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